When it all crashes down...

A Painful Reminder About Life

A couple of months ago I got a painful reminder…

At the time, I was cycling back from work (WOW, Dutch much?) during rush hour. During my commute, there was a moment when I didn’t pay close enough attention…

And I got into an accident!

I had the right of way, but he didn’t notice me. And in turn, I didn’t notice that he hadn’t noticed me and wasn’t stopping.

These are the two main lessons I took from it:

1. I got off pretty well, with just a (severely) bruised wrist). I ended up crashing into the side of the car, instead of him hitting me from the side. It now serves me as a reminder that life could end in a flash, or crash!
   

2. Even though the right of way, I’m using this as a way to reinforce my attitude of 100% ownership over everything that happens to me.
   

3. And I guess, pay more attention.

Let’s break these down.

Fuck Procrastination, Tomorrow Might Not Come!

I’ve got good news for you!

You don’t need to get yourself involved in a car accident in order to get the reminder that anything can happen in life! I’ve paid down that tax for you. :)

Here’s what I got reminded of:

Had the timing at those crossroads been slightly different, the car might have run me over rather than me crashing into the side of it. If that had happened, it could all have been over for me…

I faced this with optimism and positivity.

I felt positive about the experience because it could have been a hundred times worse. That might sound weird given that I had just been in an accident, but there’s a key lesson hidden here.

Write this down:

You cannot control all the things that you experience in your lifetime. What you CAN control on the other hand is your attitude. One of my core values is to face life, including setbacks and challenges, with optimism and positivity.

YOU decide how you interpret the events from your life!

That’s why some people can experience something and be completely traumatized for life. Meanwhile other people go through the same (objective) experience, but they come out stronger and better.

That choice is 100% yours!

Anyway, back to my main point:

Take the darn risk!
Go for your dreams!
Spend time on what matters!
Cherish the moments, big and small!

For life… life can end in a flash!

Taking Ownership of Life

The second lesson I took from the experience is ownership.

According to traffic rule, I was in the right.

In my own view however, this was 100% my responsibility.

This is my general attitude when it comes to anything in life, not just this incident. In this specific case, it’s pretty obvious: If I had taken another route, left at another time, or had simply seen his behavior in time, then the accident would not have happened.

But this goes further, I take responsibility for everything.

The good AND the bad.

Here’s a harsh truth:

You and I (and everyone else), are where we are in life because of all the thoughts, choices and actions we made in our lives!

And it’s a great thing!

When you take responsibility, you have power!

When you blame others, you give your power to them!

You’re telling yourself that things aren’t going your way because of something or someone outside of your control. Without taking ownership of what happens, you can’t affect the outcome!

However, when I take responsibility for everything I can do, I can change!

I can make sure it doesn’t happen again.
I’ve now got the power to change.
I’m in control of my emotions and actions.

My recommendation would be to take on 100% responsibility for everything and then use that to create the life you desire instead of blaming!

Note:

Responsibility doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re at fault, but it DOES mean fixing the situation rests on you. You can think of it as being response-able (willing and able to respond to any situation).

The Simple Positivity Exercise
Keep dreaming, car!

I’d like to give you a simple exercise today:

Try this out for 30 days and let me know how it works out for you!

Here’s the idea:

Whenever anything remotely negative happens, ask yourself to think of at least 1 positive effect or 1 way in which the situation is actually beneficial for you.

Here’s why this is a powerful exercise:

We have what is called the Reticular Activating System (RAS for short).

It’s also called our selective focus.

It’s a system that our subconscious uses to filter through information. It only brings things to our attention that it thinks are relevant to use, and ignores most of the information it thinks isn’t required now.

For example:

Have you ever gotten a new car and suddenly you see the exact same model everywhere? Or you met someone from school at a party and now you suddenly see them in the halls at school every single day?

Obviously, the cars were on the road before, but your mind ignored them.

You’ve probably walked by the same person before, but because you didn’t know him or her, the impression got lost in the noise of the hundreds or thousands of other students.

See how that works?

Back to our exercise:

When you force yourself to think of the positives and opportunities, you start directing your RAS. Over time, it will help you see the good around you as well as opportunities!

Because you’ve “told” your RAS that it’s important to you!

Note: You can do the same thing by keeping your dreams and goals top of mind as much as possible. Focus on what you want to happen and the possible solutions, rather than the shit you don’t want.

Also note: 

This is not a magic pill! You won’t magically “manifest” anything, but your mind will start giving you ideas and point out solutions to the issues standing in your way!

Additional Resources
Experience how your RAS works with a simple experiment:

Call to Action

Rather than giving you clear actions steps today, I’m gonna ask you 1 question:

Imagine that your life would end tomorrow.

What would you regret not having done with your life? What goals should you have gone for, but didn’t? What did you take for granted? What were the most precious things in your life?

And what would be your biggest regret?

Good news!

You’re still alive and probably will be for decades! YAY! :)

Given the things you just through about what will you do differently? How are you going to make sure that the regrets you just thought of won’t happen?

Do more of those things my friend!