Life Lessons From Dogs

Do you consider yourself an extravert or introvert?
A crucial life lesson for anyone who’s not a social butterfly.

So, I used to be terribly shy.

For most of my life I completely lacked any sort of confidence, didn’t know how to carry myself, talk to other people, be likable, and as a result, my social life was complete and utter crap.

I had like 2 real friends.

And most people’s reactions to me were incredibly cold.

Except…

The #1 Social Skill Everyone Needs

In hindsight, I realized I got some positive reactions from encounters.

Just not from people.

Dogs on the other hand, they freaking loved me!

Why?

For one, because dogs love most people.

But also:

It was all about my energy!

You see, when I was meeting people, there was a part of me that didn’t really want the interaction and another part of me that was scared and intimidated.

People intuitively pick up on this.

And their responses were negative on the whole.

With dogs on the other hand?

Every time I’d see on on the street (Chiwhuawas excluded), my mind went:

“OH MY GOD, DOG!”

And they’d be like:

“OH MY GOD, MAIKEL!

Since working on my confidence and social skills, I’ve noticed that the same thing applies to people as well. When you’re excited to meet new people, care for them, want to interact with them and you show up with positive energy, they will notice and often reciprocate.

Think about this scenario for a moment:

You’re sitting at a quiet bar when suddenly sound erupts like an explosion.

You turn around and see that it’s coming from a group of young women. Turns out that one of them got a new car, was incredibly excited and shared this exciting news with her friends.

And they reciprocated that excitement.

When people around you are more relaxed and easygoing, it helps you relax.

When people are constantly laughing and goofing off, you’re smiling more.

When people around you are looking and talking miserably, you’ll feel worse too.

Show up how you want others to interact with you.

Making This Practical

So, how can you apply this to your own life?

Firstly, try asking this:

“On a scale of potato to raging bull, how would I rate my energy level? Is it positive, neutral or negative in nature?”

Note:

You can also use a scale of 1 to 10, that’s probably easier.

The follow-up question would be:

“What would it take for me to go from potato to TV show intro or fireworks?”

Be mindful about how you’re showing up.

Aim to show up in social situations with a level above most people there.

Remember this:

People will often forget the exact things you’ve said in an interaction (especially strangers). They’re going to forget most of what you do. However, they will NOT forget how you make them feel.

Being mindful of this is the first key step.

The second step we’ll discuss below.

Note:

Are you struggling with low confidence and low self esteem?

After having gone from not having any confidence to fully confident, I can tell you it’s a superpower! Literally everything in life will be 10 times easier when you have full belief in yourself and your abilities.

Want to skyrocket your confidence rapidly?

Check out my premier course, Transformational Confidence here.

The Key to Being Fun in Conversations

Have you ever told a joke and received crickets in response?

Fun times, fun times…

The question is, what does it take to be fun in conversations?

The first part, we’ve already discussed: energy. The second one is a bit more subtle, but it can completely make or break your interactions with other people!

We call it self-enjoyment.

Let me elaborate:

Neediness and desperation are incredibly ugly traits!

It makes people instantly dislike you.

However, when there is someone we want to impress, we tend to crack jokes or say things to, well… impress them. In this situation you might say something and immediately look at those around you to see if they approve of what you just said.

It will come across as you needing their positive reaction to feel good.

But what if…

What if you made the joke because YOU enjoyed it?

One of My Worst Jokes Ever

Disclaimer:

Most of my jokes are objectively terrible.

They’re a mix of dad jokes, sarcasm, double entendres, puns and playful misinterpretations. Just some (sometimes) clever remarks in response to the environment and conversation.

Yet, they usually get good responses!

All because of this concept of self enjoyment combined with my energy.

For example:

I remember one night, I was cycling back home after having a few drinks over at a friend’s place. However, as I looked ahead, there was a group of around 10 people walking who blocked the path I needed to take.

And my bike didn’t have a working bell.

It didn’t have lights either (don’t tell the cops).

Here’s how I solved it:

As I approached from behind (and they hadn’t noticed me), I simply shouted:

“Ding ding!”

They looked, parted ways to let me through and… they started laughing!

As I passed them, I said “Sorry, my bike doesn’t have a bell.”

And yet…

Even after I turned the corner ahead, I could still hear them laughing out load and I heard one guy repeat “Ding ding!” in an amused sort of tone.

Ding ding…

That was the entire joke!

Objectively, it’s a terrible joke (if you can even consider it that).

However, at the time I found it hilarious and I said it as if it was the most funny thing in the whole damn world. I literally transferred my enjoyment to them through my energy.

The secret to making jokes land is this:

Say them because YOU find them funny, have the right positive energy when you tell it and say it like YOU believe it’s the best joke in the damn world! Most importantly, make the joke to amuse yourself (other people laughing is a bonus).

I call it jokester’s Tourette:

If the joke comes to mind, it needs to be said.

Even when I end up being the only person laughing.

When you combine the technique above about energy with self-enjoyment, you’ll eliminate neediness and desperation. And you’ll do a lot better in social interactions as a result!

Additional Resources
In the video below I break these 2 concepts down further.

Putting This Into Action

Quick story about Ryan Reynolds and Deadpool.

There are certain scenes where Ryan just blurted out whatever sarcastic remark that came to mind. They filmed them all until they got one that just “clicked”. From this, notice that not every joke will be great, but some will.

For this newsletter, I’ve got 2 challenges for you:

Firstly, try to lower your filter.

Next time, you’re in a situation where you think of something that you find hilarious, don’t filter yourself. Say it out loud with the 2 things above in mind.

This is either going to lead to a social win because people find it hilarious too, but more importantly, it’s practice. The more you practice making jokes, telling stories and literally just socialize, the easier it becomes!

Secondly:

Remember the question I posed near the beginning of this newsletter?

“On a scale of potato to raging bull, how would I rate my energy level now?”

Make that your mantra for the next week.

Take note of how you’re showing up in all of your interactions, at home, at your job, in the supermarket and so on. Because the only way to improve something is to bring awareness to it and focus on improving it!