How to Shrug off negativity and hatred

Dealing With Hate in Today’s World
Develop a Bulletproof Mindset Today

There’s a lot of garbage and negativity out there…

How can you protect yourself against it?

Today I’m sharing some of the crucial lessons I learned about this.

These lessons literally saved my life.

First, let me share a quick story:

This was about a year or 2 ago.

When I picked up my phone, I noticed a couple of Reddit notifications.

You see, a couple of hours earlier, I made a post on Reddit that was picking up steam. The topic was about the way we talk to ourselves. I made the point that when you constantly tell yourself “I can’t do this”, you will NEVER be able to achieve it until you fix that mindset.

I got a couple of lovely comments! 🙂 

…. and a single nasty one!

The Tour Guide of Happiness

Before I dive into the rest, here’s something I want you to understand:

The Power of Focus!

Imagine this:

You’re on one of those old-fashioned English buses taking a tour of London. As you’re sitting on the rooftop of this bus, your tour guide hold the microphone to hear mouth and she says:

“If you look to your right here…

… you’ll see nothing on your left.”

Yes, I just made that joke!

We all have a negativity bias.

As a survival mechanism, our minds tend to pay way more attention and react more heavily to negative influences. This helped keep humanity alive, but these days it can cause a TON of terrible feelings (no bueno!).

However, we can overwrite this.

In a situation like this, deliberately focus on all the positive comments.

If you look for the negatives in life, you’ll find them.
If you look for the positives in life, you’ll find those instead.

Don’t neglect this superpower you have!

The Comment & My Response

From this person, I got both a comment and a direct message.

Both pretty detailed and clear.

I’ll save you the entire message, but the gist is him saying that I’m completely wrong. That he’s been trying to talk himself up, but it doesn’t work. That he’s still suffering from self-loathing despite it.

He then told me to pretty much go kill myself.

I believe his words were along the lines of “go put on blinders and walk into traffic”.

Want to hear some irony?

While he spent the first part of his message telling me that he did talk positively to himself (to no avail), he quite literally cursed himself out at least 5 times.

Anyway, here’s how I reacted:

1. There was a bit of shock here. But to be fair, this only lasted for about 5 minutes or so, after which I was completely over it.
   

2. After taking a few moments to process, I started writing my response to him.

Here’s the main gist of what I wrote:

• Firstly, I did NOT get defensive or mean back at this guy. You can’t fight hatred with hatred, that makes things worse for everyone! (including you)

• In this case, I didn’t point out the irony I shared above either. In some cases, I would respond to a negative comment with some information or guidance, but I was 100% sure it wouldn’t be received well.

• What I did do was emphasize with how he’s feeling and that he must be going through a lot.

• I wished him the best and gave him some words of encouragement.

• Finally, I invited him that if he wanted to talk about anything, he’s more than welcome to do so (he never did).

My Thoughts on the Matter

My initial reaction was shock.

My second reaction was empathy.

Rather than feeling hurt, I felt sorry for him!

Think about it like this:

When someone is feeling happy and is loving life, do you think that person will go out of his way to make other people feel worse? Of course not! He’s feeling way too good to wish an early grave upon others!

The only people spreading hate are those in dark places themselves!

Always keep that in mind.

Most of the time, any hatred to get has nothing to do with you!

You’re seeing a reflection of THEM!

When you can put this into the right perspective, everything changes. I’d invite you to take this kind of mindset on board as it will help shield you against hatred and negativity as well as create more kindness.

Remember this:

Hurt people hurt people.

Build an Impenetrable Shield
Define Your Core Values to Shrug of Negativity

This video is a must-watch on the topic (in my biased opinion).

In it, I talk about a simple but incredibly powerful concept that will skyrocket your confidence and shield you against any criticism from those around you.

Let me accompany this with another quick story:

I used to be part of a WhatsApp group about politics.

Until I got kicked out of it.

Why, you ask?

Because I kindly and patiently explained that a man is a man and a woman is a woman. No slurs were used, no anger or hate shared, no belittling of anyone. All I did was share an objective truth.

The responses on the other hand…

Now those were hateful.

I’m sure you can imagine the kind of comments that I got.

The only comments I did NOT receive were comments that argued their side of the topic. Weird, right? It’s almost as if no solid case CAN be made and the only weapon they have is to make personal attacks and cancel people.

My response?

I was laughing out loud as I read them.

All because I’m crystal clear on my core values.

In short (the video covers it in more details), I know what I find important in life. Because I have defined my own core values and the things I deem important for a fulfilling life, I can easily shrug off everything else.

Think of it like this:

Would you take fitness advice from a 300-pound elephant?

Of course not!

Core values give you a clear sense of self. They form a shield and filter for ideas, comments, hatred, negativity, criticism, and so on. If the person or comment falls outside of your defined field, it bounces right off.

Homework for Today

My message is simple:

I’d highly recommend you watch the video above in its entirety.

Then, with that information, start writing down what you find most important and what your core values are. You can also write down your no-gos.

For example:

• What character traits do you find important (for yourself and others)?

• What actions make you respect others and yourself?

• What are things you absolutely don’t fuck with?

• Are there any ideas or philosophies you can’t stand?

• What is truly important in this life of yours?

Write it down in as much detail as you can.

Use it for your guiding principles.

Try living in alignment with it.

And when you encounter critique, rejection or hatred from someone who falls way outside of your defined values? You now have all the mental power to confidently, but kindly, shrug off that opinion.

Good riddance!