What would you do with a diamond ring?

A Hypothetical Question to Answer

Imagine this:

You’re walking through the supermarket when turn into one of the aisles. On the ground you an expensive ring with an embedded diamond, which you pick up out of curiosity. There is nobody in sight and there aren’t any cameras. In fact, there’s no way anyone would ever find out what you did with the ring.

What do you do?

Keep it?
Sell it?
Turn it in?

On one hand, you might be tempted to take it for yourself. On the other hand, you might hear that voice inside of your head saying that it’s wrong to do so.

Take a moment to think about this before reading on.

A Piece of Japanese Wisdom

“It takes a village to raise a child”

What this saying, originating from Japan, means is that children learn by observation. But, they don’t just learn from their parents and teachers. They also pick up behavior from the people around them.

For example:

If a child were to see other people being rude to one another constantly, and not get called out, they would start to learn that rudeness is okay and “normal”. If everyone crosses at a red light anyway, the child would quickly start doing the same.

The main lesson?

What they mean with this phase is that you should always be on your best behavior even when you think nobody is watching. 

In the example above, what if a kid came around the corner as you were to pocket the ring?

What if she asked what you were doing with that ring on the floor?

Would that change your behavior?

The reason for this hypothetical as well as the concept is that people often have two sides to them: The public-facing side and their true self. Someone’s worst side often shows up when they think there are no consequences for behavior they already know is bad.

The Silent Killer of Confidence & Self Esteem

Actually, this concept goes WAY deeper than what we have discussed so far.

If you’ve ever seen Pinocchio you’ll know of Jimminy Cricket, who acts as his conscience. He teaches Pinocchio to tell wrong from right and helps him to stay on the right path.

Or… at least he tried…

We might not have a talking cricket, but you DO have a conscience!

Even when there is nobody around to observe your actions, YOU know what you are doing! You can fool a lot of people into thinking you’re doing better than you are, but you cannot fool yourself!

This is the root of a lot of issues!

Let’s say you always talk big game to others. But when you get home, you go and watch Netflix rather than work on your side business that you said you were building.

Your mind will call you out on your bullshit!

When there is a huge difference between the person you say you are (becoming) and the person you are behind closed doors, you have now created a ton of internal conflict!

You will lose all trust in yourself this way, leading to low confidence!

You’re going to feel like an imposter. Because you are!

These nagging feelings that you should be doing something useful, that you’re not living up to your potential or that you’re not good enough, that’s your conscience whispering in your ear!

The Biggest Cause of Depression

Uncomfortable fact:

If you say this online, most people will lose what little sanity they had left. But the truth is that depression is not a disease. There’s nothing clinical about it. It’s something much simpler than that.

It’s your conscience trying to get your attention!

It’s a wake-up call!

For a year or two, I had this exact experience, though I didn’t know the reason why. In hindsight, the reason for my depression was obvious: On one hand, my daily life sucked, but… I was doing nothing to improve it!

To put it simply:

You can think of depression as a flashing warning light on your dashboard.

For the most part, we already know what we should be doing to progress in our lives. However, when we neglect taking the right actions, our mind first gives us these nagging feelings of guilt.

If that fails, your mind takes more drastic measures.

Depression is quite literally a wakeup call.

As long as you keep going on the same path, your mind and body are giving you some pretty aggressive messages to get you to turn around. The best remedy isn’t some kind of pill, it’s a change of lifestyle and habits!

If you’re depressed at the moment, please know this:

The problem is NOT that your mind is turning against you!

The issue is that YOU are turning your back on yourself!

The way I was able to finally overcome depression was that I got my ass into gear! Rather than only wishing and wanting things to improve, I started taking action. And because I made the U-turn, those feelings of depression got less and eventually faded away.

A Lesson in Listening

Why am I talking about depression?

Simple:

In this newsletter, I started talking about your conscience and doing the right thing, even when nobody is watching! The reason I’m dragging depression into the discussion is that it becomes your future unless you fix your habits!

Unless you’re congruent with who you KNOW you could be, depression is the destination…

So, what can you do?

The first thing is to start listening to yourself.

Your mind is already trying to give you all the puzzle pieces:

• The feelings of guilt when you’re doing something you know you shouldn’t

• The “Ah-Ha” moment in the shower, giving you a brilliant idea (that most people will never take action on)

• The daydreams of what life could be like if you really tried your best

• The “I really should do X” when you put on another episode

That’s your mind giving you a path forward, take it!

Note: I’m concluding today’s newsletter with a simple exercise that you can use to really tune into your inner voice. Think of it like a conversation with your true self. Go give it a go after you’ve listened to today’s audio lesson!

Audio Lesson: Achieving Happiness in Life

What’s the conventional idea?

People generally live under the illusion that they are just one goal away from truly feeling happy. The idea that “If I can only achieve THIS, I’ll be happy”.

Unfortunately, achieving a goal won’t make you happy, not long term!

What will?

Find your gameplan for happiness in today’s audio:

The Easiest Hard Challenge

This exercise is both the easiest thing you can do and extremely hard.

It’s to do…. nothing.

Allow me to explain:

Have you ever tried having a conversation in a loud bar or club? If so, you know that it’s almost impossible to talk. You can barely hear another person speak unless they’re shouting right into your ear.

The same goes for our internal dialog as well.

We live in a world where you don’t have to think about uncomfortable thoughts at all. Once you do, you can easily check your phone, watch Netflix, turn to a different thought or escape in 997 other ways.

As a result, most people never listen to themselves!

Until they get a rude awakening from their conscience.

This exercise is meant to listen before that happens!

Here are the steps to follow:

1. Find a quiet spot somewhere. This should be a place where you will not be interrupted by other people. It should be free of distractions (no phone, music, PC, screens, books, things to fidget with, nothing)!
   
   It should be just you and your thoughts.
   

2. Optionally, you can set a timer and keep it outside of the room! You want to be able to hear it, but not have the device with you. The reason is that it’s hard to tell time when you’re inside your own thoughts and inner dialog.
   

3. Go sit comfortably, close your eyes and do nothing.
   

4. When you get started, just sit there and listen. Thoughts will flow across your mind. Ideas, things you should be doing, deep insecurities, memories long forgotten and so on. You’ll be able to hear a lot of your thoughts and your inner voice.
   
   Your goal is not to judge any thoughts, just let them run their course. You’re just being the observer in this exercise.
   

5. Optionally, once you’ve done this a couple of times, you can start taking a more active role. You could ask questions like “Why am I so scared of doing X?”, “What is really holding me back?” or “What do I truly want to achieve in life?”.
   
   After you ask the question, just shut up and let your mind (that is, your subconscious) do the talking.
   

6. After about 15 - 20 minutes, when your alarm goes off, you’re free to get up and do stuff. My recommendation would be to go somewhere with a pen to take notes on the insights you’ve gained from listening to your true self.
   

7. It should go without saying, but when your mind gives you insights about where you’re fucking up and what to do instead, to start doing those things! (But now I’ve said it anyway)

As a fair warning, don’t expect this to be a pleasant experience! You’re likely to come across memories and things your mind has repressed for years or decades.

Welcome to overcoming limiting beliefs and trauma!