There Are No Stupid Answers, Only Stupid Questions!

The Quality of Life Depends on Your Focus

Focus on the right things, and things will get better.

Focus is like a flashlight.
(and no, not that kind)

Let me demonstrate the power of focus to you:

For this, you’re gonna have to listen to this short (58 second) audio clip. Because it’s literally impossible to read and do this exercise at the same time.

Do you see the power?

Today we’ll dive into the topic of questions to ask yourself.

As we dive in, please get the rubbish that “There are no stupid questions.” out of your mind! Your elementary school teachers were completely wrong about this! They literally have it reversed:

There are no stupid answers, only stupid questions.

The reason for this is that with every question, you direct your focus, like shining a flashlight at something. And when you direct it at the wrong things, you’re never going to be able to find the answers to your most pressing problems.

So, let’s cover 5 smart questions you should ask yourself.

1 How Can I Achieve My 5 Year Goals in 12 Months?

In Apple’s Words:

Steal everything from competitors. Think Different.

If you’re feeling stuck in life, this questions is crucial to ask because it changes your perspective and thinking patterns. Your current thinking got you to the (mental) place you’re in right now…

which is being stuck!

You can’t solve a problem with the same mindset that created it.

Write this question (and the others) down on a piece of paper as you’re reading.

The purpose of this question:

Your first thought might be “That’s impossible Maikel! There’s no way!”, but that is not an acceptable answer! When you answer this, think about what would have needed to happen in the next 12 months to make your long-term goal come true.

Write down all the possible ways.

When you’re doing this, you’ll probably find multiple restraints and you’ll find obstacles in your way. Congratulations! You just uncovered the things between you and your goal. So rather than feeling stuck, you can now put all your attention on working on those restrictions.

2 What Would an AI Do in My Position?

Don’t you just hate those pesky emotions?

Always getting all emotional on you and shit?

Absolutely driving us crazy…

All kidding aside:

There is a huge difference between using our emotions to think and thinking with our emotions. Unfortunately, most people do the latter.

Here’s the difference:

Thinking with your emotions is reactionary and often times autopilot behavior. For this, you can think about the decisions you make when you’re furious, terrified or over the moon excited.

Generally, those will be crappy decisions.

When they say that “love is (or makes) blind”, this is the reason.

On the other hand:

When you are using your emotions to think, you refrain from acting immediately. Instead, you reflect (even if it’s just a few second) on the situation at hand. Your emotions are a puzzle piece, but never the entire puzzle.

You’ll weigh some of the pros and cons, using emotion as a factor.

This generally leads to better decisions.

So, about this question:

When you change perspectives and imagine you’re an AI, you’re taking the emotional side out of the equation altogether. You’re basically looking through the lens of pure logic to come up with with solutions to your problems.

Then, after doing that, you can add your feelings back in to see if the solutions still make sense through this lens.

3 Who Has Already Achieved [Insert Goal Here]?

If you’re wanting me to tell you that you’re a special snowflake…

you’re out of luck buddy!

The truth is that you’re not unique. Neither am I, nor anyone else.

Here’s where I’m going with this:

While I don’t know what goals you have or what problems you’re currently facing, what I DO know is that you’re not unique. Other people have already set the same goals, faced the same problems and achieved the same outcomes that you’re aiming for!

This question is your shortcut!

Ask yourself:

“Who?” rather than “What?”

In almost every situation, it’s no use to wrack your brain over the question of “What should I do now?”. There’s no need to reinvent the wheel!

Instead, look for people who already have what you want.

Follow in their footsteps!

Success leaves clues and if you take similar actions to someone who has achieved your goals, you will get similar results to them!

Caveat:

Don’t look at ultra successful people and copy what they’re doing now. Because the steps to go from level 1 to level 16 are different than the steps to get from level 16 to level 21.

Instead, look for what they did at their level 1, 2, 4, 6, etc.

Google and YouTube are your friends! ;)

4 Why Do I Feel [Insert Emotion Here]?

Success is an inside job.

Meaning:

Everything stands or falls with your own mindset.

(Un)fortunately, we have both a conscious and a subconscious part of our mind.

Because of this, we often think we know the problem but it’s not the problem at all! Instead, it’s a symptom of something that is going on inside our minds, subconsciously.

For example:

Procrastination is never about time management.

There might be subconscious fears of trying new things, failure, judgment when you do fail and so on. Your subconscious might “know” that the goal will make you unhappy if you achieve it. And there are other factors that are at play.

It’s a bit of a sticky situation, isn’t it?

How can you solve a problem you’re not even aware of?

Well sure, I’ll answer since you asked nicely, blurry gif!

Yes, I’m talking to gifs now and yes I'm responding back. Writing newsletters must have made me crazier than I already was…

Anyway:

When we encounter a problem, our instinct is to ask “What now?”.

For example:

• I can’t talk to this girl → What should I say?

• I’ve procrastinated for weeks → How can I get started now?

• I dislike my job, but I’m still here → Should I find a new one?

• I struggle with my budget → What expense can I cut?

• I’m constantly stressed → What techniques help me relax?

All of these have 1 thing in common:

They don’t tackle the real problem!

Underneath all of these issues (and most others) there is an emotional or mental block causing mayhem. All of the problems aren’t problems at all. Rather, they are the result of an actual problem.

For example:

Not knowing what to say doesn’t have anything to do with the words on the tip of your tongue but the words in the depths of your heart. In other words, the way you feel about yourself deep down.

Your self image.

If part of you (conscious or subconscious) feels she’s way out of your league, you’ll freeze up in conversation. Because you feel like you need to say the perfect thing in order to impress her and elevate yourself.

See the point?

The “Why question helps you uncover these kinds of things!

Going back to our examples:

• I can’t talk to this girl → Why do I feel stifled?

• I’ve procrastinated for weeks → Why do I keep putting this off?

• I dislike my job, but I’m still here → Why haven’t I made a shift yet?

• I struggle with my budget → Why am I struggling with my finances?

• I’m constantly stressed → Why am I constantly feeling overwhelmed?

You’ll be amazed at the answers you get when asking the right questions!

Note:

In order to make sure you get the right answers, you’ve got to be quiet enough to listen. You won’t hear your mind if you’re constantly scrolling on social media, watching Netflix or doing something else, even when it’s positive (like going to the gym).

For this to work, sit yourself down without anything to distract you.

Just you and your thoughts, the perfect date! ❤️ 

Note 2:

When you get an answer from your mind, you can dive deeper as well! You can ask yourself another “Why?” question to get to the next level and then the next level of self awareness.

How Would I Behave If I Was the Best in the World at [Insert Goal Here]?

Here’s a fun exercise:

Imagine for a moment that you have just been transformed into the perfect person for achieving your goal. You are literally the best in the world at whatever you do.

What actions would you take daily?

There’s a good reason why I like this question…

As part of my evil plan, I’d like to destroy your excuses! 👿 

Guess what?

If you answer this question and you’re able to answer it, that means you already know what to do! It becomes a mirror where you can reflect upon your own actions versus the actions that you should be taking.

Answering this reveals exactly what you know (deep down) already!

The next step?

Use question #4 and ask yourself why you aren’t doing the things you already know you should be doing? Is it fear? Do you feel unworthy? Afraid of rejection? Another mental block in your way?

Who knows?

Soon, that will be you! 😉 

Bringing It Together

This might be obvious, but let me make it crystal clear:

Just reading this newsletter will do NOTHING for your life!

You’ve gotta do the work.

So as a quick reminder of how this newsletter works, you’ll find all 5 questions neatly listed below in the “Action Steps”. Find some time today (or tomorrow, if you should be sleeping already) to sit down and write out the answers to these questions.

Audio Lesson of the Day
Overcome the Fear of Criticism (Part 1)

Nobody is immune to the need to fit in with others.

However, there are a few mindset shifts you can make in order to free yourself from the fear of criticism. In doing so, you’ll be able to live your life, rather than conforming to what everyone else want you to be!

Note:

This audio message is the first half of a 2-part series.

Next Monday, I’ll share part 2 with you.

In that part, I share my personal journey of going from someone who would literally break down and cry every time someone poked fun at me (I was bullied for years) and developing my mind to the point where no criticism gets to me!

It’s been a huge breakthrough for me, and I think it will be for you too!

So, make sure to check your email on Monday!

Your FREE Masterclass!

Yesterday, I released a masterclass in breaking bad habits on YouTube.

This is an hour-long breakdown of everything you need to know in order to break bad habits. Other people would charge you big $$$ for the same information.

But it’s yours for free when you click below!

Note:

Given the intense and information heavy nature of this training, I highly recommend bringing pen and paper to take notes as you watch it till the end.

Action Steps for Today

Today we covered 5 questions you should ask yourself to change your focus, get new insights, find solutions to problems and discover your biggest super power: self awareness.

In case you didn’t write them down:

• How would I achieve my 5 year goals in 12 months?

• What would an AI do in my situation?

• Who has already achieved [insert goal]?

• Why do I feel/experience [emotion/problem]?

• How would I act if I was the best in the world at [insert goal]?

If you need a refresher as to why to ask these questions, scroll up.

After you’ve written them down:

Find a time and place where you can be alone with your thoughts and where you won’t be distracted. Don’t bring your own distractions either. Pick a goal or a problem and ask yourself these questions.

Write out whatever comes to mind.

Don’t judge, just let thoughts flow from your mind to the paper.

You can think about your answers AFTER you’re done getting all your thoughts on paper. Use these questions as prompts, just like you would with ChatGPT. The questions you ask yourself will shift your focus and lead to the answers that help you move ahead.

Have fun, and read the final part below.